OFFLINE IS THE NEW BLACK

offline-525700_1280We were recently notified by management of the building where we live that guest parking and certain parts of the cafe would be “offline” during an event which would require those spaces. I was not familiar with that use of the term “offline” but I like it so much I have decided to adopt it. For example, I am notifying management that my monthly payments will be offline for the same period that my guests had to walk an extra two blocks, multiplied by the time that my favorite dining table was offline.
I am also warning the city that payment of the $2,000 drainage fee they mistakenly calculated for my property will be offline until they get their act together.
I am notifying the IRS that my delay in filing was caused by my being offline and therefore I require an extension.
Finally, Charlie Strong has said the reason for the UT football team’s recent loss to Iowa State was that the Longhorns were offline. 
That explains everything.